January 2012
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Lunch, a long time ago
I remember being at the babysitter’s house and it being lunch time. She would make us a bologna sandwich with a kraft single and a little miracle whip on white bread. We would get juice in a brightly colored plastic cup. The ones made from plastic that would get scratched up after too many washes.
I also remember other things, like her shaggy brownish carpet and the plastic covers on...
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Did I ever tell you I work with a hypochondriac?
J: i actually may die. i just post nasal dripped brown mucus...but it's probably from the coffee i'm drinking, right?
Me: yessssssssssssssssssss, but that is sick.
J: i've still got this congestion going on. post nasal dripping. it's white. but still. WHAT IF THE BACTERIA WAS RESISTANT AND IS INCUBATING!!?
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Things that I find funny and probably aren't (but... →
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“He is very gay…like a clubber”
– -Some office person
What words are coming out of her mouth?
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In which I talk about food things...(again)
When someone orders a sandwich with mayo and “light, light, light” mustard. Why? If it is light x3 can you taste it? Can you honestly taste the mustard? What if I use a knife that already had mustard on it to spread your mayo…is that light enough?
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This song is the second best song from Twilight.
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“How do I add something to my queue?”
– someone at work shouting this out re: Netflix
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Did I ever tell you about my love for tartar...
I don’t even like fish. Except on the rare occasion where I crave fish n’ chips or some Long John Silver’s. My mom and I were at Cheescake Factory over the holiday and she had fish n’ chips and I tasted her tartar sauce. It was ok. It tasted like aioli more than tartar. I dipped a couple fries in it. “This makes everything taste like fish. Maybe it’s...
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“Water? Water? There’s no bottled water? I have to drink out of a...”
– Sorry we ran out of bottled water, WHICH ARE PLASTIC BY THE WAYYYYYYYYYYY
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And not the good kind
Me: [Redacted's] office always smells like hot chicken
A: hahahah. qoute of the day winner!
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Please
STOP SHOWING “THE DEVIL INSIDE” TRAILER EVERY OTHER COMMERCIAL!
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Every time I look at Facebook I feel rage. I miss Myspace days a little
(Why did I let my dad talk me into adding some cousin I never met who lives in Hungary, who posts in Hungarian.)
December 2011
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Looking through my old yearbook
while I am home and looking up people on Facebook, I realized that from fifth grade to tenth grade my hairstyles consisted of the following:
Half up and half down-straight
Half up and half down-curly
Half up and half down- curly pony, straight bottom
Half up half down- bun on top
2012 is the year to bring back the half up/half down.
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Grandma: I like vin diesel.
Me: what do you mean?
Grandma: I like him.
Me: (thinking she’s going to say he’s cute) but what about him?
Grandma: his acting!!
Me: huhhhhhhh??
I have said this before…you can always tell who is flying to Pittsburgh by the amount of black and gold (and penguins shirts) at the gate. My favorite part about flying.
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If you would like to make a call...
I was pretending to be on the phone at work (to avoid someone) and the message ” if you’d like to make a call please hang up and try again” came on and I listened to it three times, hung up and listened to it again. I was thinking, that sounds like a real lady. Not a computer generated voice, but like a lady from Ohio who still may get a check from “the phone...
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If you Google this
(sqrt(cos(x))*cos(400*x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.4)*(4-x*x)^0.1
You get this:
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WatchMy first post since I got home from the hospital is about this crazy dog who hijacked my mom and fell asleep to the Adele DVD while kicking his legs every few seconds. (Ignore his nakedness too) Dumb dog.
November 2011
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True Life: I'm having a surgery
(The other title for this post was going to be: I’m going to pretend I’m Kelly Taylor during one of her many hospital stays…”)
I’m scheduled to have surgery Wednesday afternoon. I’ve never had any type of surgery besides having my wisdom teeth removed. I thought that was major. It all happened very quickly and now that it’s two days...
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Wild Horses
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